1 January 2021
You know, all would have been OK if “Life” didn’t decide to knock on my door one day delivering a bag marked “Lessons”.
I was playing joyously in my make believe world where I invited the likes of Super Heroes and unicorns when “Life” shows up to disperse the party like some Dickensian copper with a baton. And then, as if I needed some form of a parole officer, the “Snitch” (aka “Guardian Angel”) watched over my sleeping diapered body from a framed propaganda poster that a great aunt (a Canossian nun), collaged together using a photo of my baby self being instructed by an icon-like finger-raised-Renaissance Angel. And to think, that at the time, I thought I only had to fret about the aging-mind of a Santa Claus who was keeping a list.
Now I ask, how could this KGB-Angel-Agent possess so much power despite being a paper thin disposable picture…well think again. This is the age of fk’n “Recyclability”.… which also explains the regurgitating Ground-Hog-Day effect of “Life’s Lessons” that torment all our days like watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island.
Oh, and we must not forget who walks hand in hand with “Life”. Her name is “Karma”.
If you think a G5 network is impressive, there is no GPS tracker yet invented that matches Karma’s ability to locate you…anywhere, any time and in any reincarnation. And this Karma, she gives no weight to the old idiom “bury the hatchet”. In fact, she’ll dig that fkn blade out of any fkn grave and plunge it into you, with the spirit of “an eye for an eye” rule.….hmmm didn’t Jesus Christ get incarnated to change that law? Obviously she’s not a Catholic or she would know about the “Reset button” (aka the sacrament of confession).
So, to conclude this intro, if you look at Life as the CO (Commanding Officer) at the helm, well then Karma would be the RSM (Regimental Sergeant Major) aka as the Disciplinarian…who actually first coined the expression “I’ll be back” (in every possible accent and dialect imaginable). As a result, it is with such “ammo”, that Life enforces “Lessons”.
With this in mind, along with the hope of obtaining “airmiles” for that day I am held up at the customs gate of Heaven, I plan to reflect once a week, starting today, 1 January 2021 with a weekly assessment of whatever fkn “lesson” Life delivers to my doorstep. My only hope is that it comes in an Amazon box to attract Porch Pirates…..and may they receive a most deserved-double-dose-karmic-whammy as a consequence.
Until next week, remember “Life” is but a “Lesson”…..and once learned, we move on to the next one.